As many of you know, Nick and I do not have cable. This is not because we “not believe in it,” quite the contrary. We love cable, so much in fact that if we had it we would probably never leave the house. It is some faceless temptress capable of holding your attention to the most drull of shows and marathons for hours.
It also costs about $60 a month which we rather spend on buying more cats which as a rule do not transform our productive time into a blackhole of procrastination.
We do still get our show fix, but instead of cable, we must rely on Netflix Online Instant Shows. The difference is not too different from eating by automatic feeder versus deciding on dinner at the grocery store. Both are ridiculous and have their draw backs.
_____________________________________
The automatic feeder would be cable (always available for the snacking, putting no thought or effort into it.) If you are a hungry cat (or ridiculous lazy human being who uses an automatic feeder) you can feast whenever the mood strikes you. This is also true with cable, if you have nothing to do, you grab the remote, problem solved, boredom resolved. Sure you may spend sometime flipping through channels, but at least you are watching something!
CABLE
The Automatic Feeder of Entertainment!
Cable (Automatic Feeders)
Pros: You can watch shows without any forethought (you can eat whenever)
Cons: No forethought means you watch it approximately 20/ 24 hours of the day, also less money for cats (you get fat)
_____________________________________
Netflix works differently. Imagine having to go to the grocery store every time you wanted something to eat!
This is how it is with Netflix. I often spend hours just making the decision of what I want to watch, deciding between this stupid show I have never watched or that silly movie only to come upon something as unoriginal a choice as Family Guy.
NETFLIX Watch Instantly
The Costco of entertainment!
Netflix (Going to the grocery store every time you are hungry)
Pros: Options- and $60 dollars to spend on buying more cats!! (Opitions!!)
Cons: Waste precious tv time searching for what to watch only to settle on something stupid (the amount of gas it would take to drive to the grocery stores 5+ times a day)
_____________________________________
Having a husband to help choose a Netflix Watch Instantly movie sounds like it would make your world a brighter place full of peace and harmony, complementary unicorns and rainbows included.
A PERFECT WORLD
Spouse #1 “Oh watch whatever you want, I can’t find anything”
Spouse #2 “I appreciate you enabling me to make this decision. I feel very loved, wise and important. Hmmm. We will watch... Zoolander.”
Spouse #1 “Huzzah! We are supreme in making decisions. Your wisdom has dictated Zoolander, and that is how we will spend the evening. In honor of your glorious choice I will wash the dishes.
Spouse #2 “Huzzah! We are the best couple in the universe!”
This scenario above has probably only happened maybe once in my life. The only reason I do not remember is because anything of the “perfect world” nature is drowned by memories of a far more ridiculous type.
THE REAL WORLD
The show you want to settle for is something your husband absolutely doesn’t want to watch or feel simply feels “eh” about. When you suggest something, he suggests something to one-up it that you hate even more than his orginal choice. When you open the doors to the possibility of a new genre you are now half way down the river of never making a compromise and have thrown your oar into the murky waters (and the conversations go on and on.)
Spouse #1 “Well I wouldn’t mind a comedy, or a documentary, or maybe a paranormal horror film. Are there any comedy documentaries about the making of paranormal horror films?”
Spouse #2 “I don’t think so. Plus I was in the mood for a movie with more action or maybe a political drama. What about Candid?”
Spouse #1 “Well I saw a political drama last year so I am pretty good on those for the time being. Hey look, they have Alice
Spouse #2 “The old one or the new one?”
Spouse #1 “Both!”
Spouse #2 “No that’s ok. What about Charade?”
Spouse #1 “That isn’t a comedy, well I guess it sort of is. But it isn’t a documentary or a paranormal horror film and certainly not a political drama like you wanted.”
Spouse #2 “Yah but I was sort of in the mood for Charade.”
Spouse #1 “Why don’t you want to watch the new Alice
6 years and 10,000 movie suggestions later
Spouse #2 “You really don’t want to watch Robocop? It’s a classic!”
Spouse #1 “No more of a classic than Ping Pong Playa!"
Spouse #2 “Fine let’s just watch Alice
Spouse #1 “I don’t feel like watching that anymore.”
Spouse #2 “What!”
Spouse #1 “I wanted to watch it 4 minutes ago, now I feel more like a buddy action comedy.”
When choosing what to watch out of 10,000 possibilities “too many cooks in the kitchen” is any number of people more than 1 individual.
_____________________________________
It takes me 40 minutes on average to figure out what to watch and approximately 5 days with the help of my husband. We always end up just settling for a King of the Hill episode as a compromise. Only problem is, we have already seen every episode twice.
No comments:
Post a Comment